I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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