Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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