She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The power of my boobs compel you