There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
