You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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