We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
