The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
