I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
smell my finger.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
