..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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