There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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