In the future we'll all be gay
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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