dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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