I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
