I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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