He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
