You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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