So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
