theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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