For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
