Don't you send me to vm
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
how does that bad decision feel?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
