I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
