Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I think my vagina is haunted
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
