No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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