chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
