she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
