i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
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