I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
