i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
