Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
how does that bad decision feel?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
