Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
