idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
