Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
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