What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
