fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
