make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
