Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
