We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
