can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
