there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize