My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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