ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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