I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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