drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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