marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
