everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
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I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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