1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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