please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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