Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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