I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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