Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
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The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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