did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
