So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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