You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
