I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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