Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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