He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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