He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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