This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
