apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize