i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
