Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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