therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
