finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
