I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
