Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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