please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
