Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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